


A Place to Rest and Forget Yourself

by botherd



Category: Skins (UK)
Genre: F/F, experimental POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-07
Updated: 2010-02-07
Packaged: 2017-10-19 03:14:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/196253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/botherd/pseuds/botherd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>This is a story about two girls, each broken in their own way.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	A Place to Rest and Forget Yourself

This is a story about two girls, each broken in their own way. It ends in heartache, as these stories do.

It begins with a lie that comes too easily. The excuse slips off Naomi's tongue and Emily, on the other end of the phone, accepts it without question and murmurs, _"I love you."_ Naomi repeats it back to her, and that part is the truth.

The truth is not enough to prevent what happens next.

 

The sun is high in the sky when Naomi arrives at Goldsmiths, a proper July sun. She's not supposed to be here, and that thought is enough to make her smile. She's used to being independent--living her own life, not sharing it. In this moment she prefers the heat of London, the hot sun and thick air, to anything Mexico has to offer.

Three weeks they'd been together--no, not even that long--when Emily suggested spending a gap year in Mexico, together. Naomi was amused by the idea, and so she agreed. It was only later that she realised that Emily was serious, and considered it not idle dreaming but a commitment. Naomi decided that the idea would have plenty of time to fizzle out, so there was no need to shoot it down and have to deal with Emily mistaking it for a personal rejection.

Naomi wanders around the Goldsmith campus, trying to imagine a future there and wondering where Emily's place is in it.

(Sophia sees Naomi from across a room, and her hearts starts to beat a little faster. She knows that girl.)

There's a tap on Naomi's shoulder, and when she turns around she's faced with a pretty girl with dark hair.

"I think I've seen you at Roundview," the girl says tentatively. "I'm Sophia."

"Oh. Hi." Naomi hasn't noticed her before. There are a lot of people at Roundview, most of whom Naomi chooses to ignore. She doesn't like people as a rule, but Sophia is smiling at her shyly and Naomi makes a mental note to be more open minded in the future. That's what led her to Emily, after all.

Her phone beeps with a text from Emily. She doesn't read it.

(Sophia catches the name that pops up on Naomi's phone. Sophia knows who Emily is; she was there at the Love Ball (alone, in the corner, wishing she hadn't come). But the exasperated little huff that Naomi gives sparks a little hope inside her.)

"This place is shit," Naomi declares, glancing round at the students half-heartedly handing out leaflets. She looks at Sophia, the way she's smiling--less shy now, more like they're sharing a joke--and even though they don't really know each other, their tenuous connection is enough to bind them together today in a strange place. "I think I saw the uni bar back there. You want to investigate?"

"It's probably the most important place in the university," Sophia says.

(What she means is _yes, oh, yes_.)

They drink cheap wine and tell jokes, bonding over the absurdities of Roundview. Sophia does an uncanny impression of Doug. It's strange being far from home and finding someone who understands; there's the ease of familiarity with none of the suffocation of home.

Emily texts her again, and this time Naomi replies just to avoid arousing suspicion.

"Who was that?" Sophia asks.

"No one."

(Sophia knows it was Emily, but the answer pleases her nonetheless.)

They drink some more. Sophia has a nice laugh.

(Sophia can't remember the last time she laughed like this.)

 

They take the train back together. Naomi sits by the window, but she doesn't look out at the fields rushing by as she speeds towards home; instead, she looks at Sophia. Still, the sun is dipping low and even in the corner of her eye, it blinds her. She closes her eyes against it just for a moment, and when she opens them again Sophia is pulling something out of her bag.

A sketchbook.

"You draw?"

"Yes," Sophia says. "It helps me make sense of things."

(It rarely works anyway, but still Sophia keeps drawing. She's embarrassed once she says it, afraid it sounds stupid, but Naomi smiles at her.)

"Maybe you could make sense of me."

Sophia begins to sketch, and even though the movement of the train makes some of the lines wobbly, the end result is oddly touching.

"It's lovely," Naomi says.

"It's not very good."

(She could never capture someone like Naomi with pen and ink; there's too much there, under the surface, that Sophia can only just sense, can only guess at.)

Sophia puts the sketchbook back in her bag, and then her hand falls back on the seat only an inch away from Naomi's. Naomi swallows thickly, then says, "I had to tell a lie to come here." She shouldn't say so much, but she knows from the sadness buried in Sophia's eyes that she will understand.

The warmth she can feel from Sophia's hand is inviting, tempting, and right now Emily feels so far away. It feels like Emily is already in Mexico, living their future together, but Naomi isn't there yet. She's here, and Sophia's here, and their hands are only an inch apart. Naomi's mind drifts back to a fireside by the lake, and she remembers the relief of giving in.

She gives in.

(When Naomi takes her hand, Sophia feels so happy she could die.)

 

Naomi's house isn't far from the station. She takes Sophia there, for no better reason than she doesn't want the day to end. It feels strange, being back in Bristol with Sophia, like two separate lives are overlapping. She almost expects Sophia to vanish once they get off the train, because she can't possibly exist in the real world of home.

But she doesn't vanish, she slips her hand in Naomi's and together they go back to Naomi's house.

(They run through the streets, hand in hand, and it almost feels like flying.)

They sit on the sofa in Naomi's living room, drinking more wine, and for a long time they don't talk at all, because they don't need to. Nothing much needs to be said. So they sit in silence, drinking and smiling every time their hands brush, and then Sophia says, "I know about Emily."

Naomi stiffens, then releases the breath she was holding in a shaky laugh. "Right. Public declarations of love."

"It must be nice to have a fairytale."

"That's not what it's like." She shoots Sophia a look, and in an instant decides that Sophia can keep her secrets. "I feel trapped." She wonders if she should say more, but Sophia looks at her, sad and understanding, and Naomi is content to let the statement hang there, unexplained.

"I know how you feel," Sophia says.

They kiss, and Naomi's world turns upside down.

(They kiss, and, just for a moment, Sophia's world turns the right way up again.)


End file.
